Now this is very worrying.
To summarise, 52% of teenagers are either wierdos, prudes, Muslims, liars, or too stupid to realise that alco-pops and cider do in fact contain alcohol.
Claptrap
13 hours ago
Friday 16 November 2007
"48% of teens have tried alcohol"
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12 comments:
LMAO. Spot on Mark.
"Have you ever had an alcoholic drink - a whole drink, not just a sip"
Maybe it means that 52% of parents buy truly filthy wine and, having had a sip, the children vow not to touch it again until there is a change in budgeting policy or they can finance their own decent champagne?
Jewish children get put off this way by administering Palwin at an early age, compared to which a Benylin and Friars' Balsam cocktail would be a merciful release.
My plan to protect my child from a life of booze is sloe gin. Failing in my badger-herding venture, I sent Mr Raft out to find a sloe bush. They are often surrounded by a thicket of brambles, such as would protect a fairy princess.
It is no simple trick to pick the berries off the stems, where they nestle between needle-thorns. Mr Raft was scratched, bleeding and had torn his jeans by the time he had collected a potful.
To make sloe gin, first wash the blood etc. off the sloes. You don't need that many; in volume it should be roughly equal to the bottle you intend to fill.
Assuming a 70cl bottle, you will need
1 bottle of gin
1 empty 70cl bottle with sealable cap.
Approx 60-70 cl of washed sloes - a few less is fine, so long as it approaches the volume of the bottle when losely packed
2 cups of sugar - proportionately more if it is a bigger bottle.
Remove half the gin in to the empty bottle. Put 1 cup of sugar in each bottle. Poke in sloes until each bottle is full. Put on bottle tops.
Then turn the bottles regularly so that the berries can steep in the gin and sugar mixture. Drinkable in about 12 weeks, will keep up to about 15 months. The general rule with sloe gin is make it one year, drink it the next.
When you drink this, it is probably best to pour it through a tea-strainer and decant it in to another bottle. You are bound to have found another one by then.
Conscientious people may make the sloe gin in plastic bottles rather than glass, as glass is more difficult to recycle when half-full of sloe stones .
I'm waiting for the results of my first experiment. I will let you know how Mr Raft gets on. I've tested the raw mixture on myself for toxicity - it's fine. I'm still here.
Wiki tells me that sloe gin is called Jägermeister (OK, that's the best known brand name) in Germany, which is truly vile.
Is that the gimmick, the fact that it's rancid?
Jägermeister is great. Everyone was drinking that when I was 16 or so, so I don't think your plan is very sound woman on a raft!
The BBC's headline is bollocks. The study included children aged 10-15. 48% of those had tried alcohol. 10, 11 and 12 year olds are not teenagers. 16, 17, 18 and 19 year olds are teenagers.
Jägermeister is great. Everyone was drinking that when I was 16 or so, so I don't think your plan is very sound woman on a raft!
The BBC's headline is bollocks. The study included children aged 10-15. 48% of those had tried alcohol. 10, 11 and 12 year olds are not teenagers. 16, 17, 18 and 19 year olds are teenagers.
Jägermeister is great. Everyone was drinking that when I was 16 or so, so I don't think your plan is very sound woman on a raft!
The BBC's headline is bollocks. The study included children aged 10-15. 48% of those had tried alcohol. 10, 11 and 12 year olds are not teenagers. 16, 17, 18 and 19 year olds are teenagers.
I was put off alcohol back when I was six by asking for sherry...
Harveys Bristol Cream
Its disgusting... to a six year old and it makes sure you don't touch the stuff.
I only flirted with alcohol for four years 18-22.. and then promptly gave it up.
There are decent mersaults and pouilly Fusse that I will drink aswell as Marlborough Savignon but thats about it
Simon was that meant to be said three times? or was that too much wine?
Rancid? I don't know yet, but I have to admit that my other experiments using sloe extracts from boiling rather than maceration mean I've got a stock of a peculiar purple bitter concentrate. I might try it as a dye - might be a problem as I added sugar thinking it was a potential drink rather than something I could reduce and use as ink.
There was the huge crop of hawthorn berries. I didn't know what, if anything, could be done with then at the time. The stems were bending under the weight and looked like a mad, vulgar interior decorator had been told to do something for Christmas, so they wired a hundred thousand berries on to each frond.
Making hawthorn brandy - i.e. macerating berries in brandy - seems to be a popular tonic. The websites keep insisting hawthorn is a heart tonic but I'm interested in foods rather than medications. I noticed it is used in small quantities in herbal tea, so I might go out and collect a mix of berries and maybe even leaf, if there is any - it's daft to pay over a pound for a box of herbal tea if a free substitute is available - always assuming it doesn't taste like pond water.
It has to be admitted that most of my brews do taste like pond water. I know because I used a siphon to empty a water feature which needed cleaning and had to start it off by mouth.
Simon, if what you say is true, my sloe gin could be the breakthrough product I've been looking for, but my previous triumphs include throwing-buns and seaside scones.
Throwing buns were so exceptionally high-fibre you could carve your name in to them and seaside scones were a paving material developed by accidentally making something with two ounces of salt and a pinch of sugar.
Henry - you are right about Bristol Cream. One product which annoys me is Bailey's Irish Cream, which transmutes what is fundamentally a bottle of milk with 17% alcohol preservative in to something the consumers regard as a spirits-equivalent product. It changes a bottle of milk and a glass of drink, total not worth more than £2.50 at the very highest, including homogenizing, packaging and distribution, in to something people will pay about £12 for.
What is wrong with people? How difficult is it to add a dash brandy or sherry to carton of cream and stir? And why didn't I think of it first?
"Why didn't I think of it first?".
I have no Wiki-references for this, but the true story of Bailey's Irish Cream AFAIAA is that a dairy farmer couldn't shift his milk, so he invented it to get rid of the surplus milk.
Similarly, Hooch was invented by some Australian farmer with surplus lemons.
Surplus agricultural produce is the mother of all invention.
OK I can now reveal how Baileys was made and Im claiming copyright for this for my next post
Historical story
In 1971, a committee of senior managers in Gilbeys of Ireland had the idea for a uniquely Irish drink reflecting Ireland’s heritage and agricultural and distilling traditions.
Baileys first appeared in a ten gallon milkchurn by accident in 1974 because they had been trying to get the whiskey to mix with the cream.
The whiskey is a grain whiskey, and then is blended in with about 50% cream. Back in the old days, a way to handle an upset stomach was to mix whiskey and cream together. It would soothe your stomach. The problem was that the two would not mix well together for long - but Bailey's found a secret way to get the mixture to stay.
No one had managed to blend cream and whiskey before and it took years of patient work, plus a little chocolate and vanilla, to create the truly amazing taste.
Finally, on November 26th 1974 there was an almost magical accident and a new type of drink was born: the cream liqueur.
What actually happens is that they mix the chocolate mix ( cocoa nibs and vanilla )add burnt sugar( caramel)sugar and then whiskey with the cream to make the famous drink that has a shelf life of 2 years.
So that's why you didn't invent it WOAR. It took them three years.
Henry
You know what this means, Henry.
There is scope for a cocktail based on Milk of Magnesia.
If I can ferment a couple of gallons of sloe juice then persuade the Milk of Magnesia to stay in suspension instead of reacting to form a fosil layer in the bottom of each bottle, then we will have the world's first wild-fruit based - and hence Sting-compatible - alcopop which comes with a built-in hangover cure. Which is probably just as well.
We are going to be rich, assuming I survive the toxicity testing. All we need is a catchy name: working title 'Vein Line'.
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