"Doctors implant lab-grown vaginas"

From the BBC:

The boards of four leading banks have been implanted with new vaginas grown in the laboratory by doctors in the US.

'I feel fortunate'

A tissue sample and a biodegradable scaffold were used to grow vaginas in the right size and shape for each financial concern, as well as being a compatible with existing directors.

They all reported normal levels of "desire for and arousal by money, lubrication of regulators' palms and satisfaction with orgasmic bonuses" as well as painless intercourse with politicians.

'But can you stick another zero at the end, please?'

Experts said the study, published in the Financial Times, was the latest example of the power of regenerative medicine.

"It makes a change from being run by total arseholes," added an insider.