Daily Mail on top form

Spotted by MBK:

Married bank worker stole £2m then spent the lot on call girls: £1m went on ONE Thai escort

Wot? He spent the lot on call girls..?

Ah, no of course not, just most of it…

[His wife], a maths teacher, is understood to be 'devastated' by her husband's actions, which she found out about just before Christmas. The marital home, a large £400,000 four-bedroomed townhouse on a smart new estate, is up for sale.