"The Search for the Pilot Claimant Open Day 2 was so very nearly a success"

Says a clearly exasperated Iain Duncan Smith. “We thought we had found our man,” said the Works and Pensions Secretary “Thanks to some help from my former Trusty Right Hand Chris Grayling, who had even gone to the trouble of laying on special transport to get him to the Town Hall in Tameside, where we could sit him in front of the terminal and really get cracking on testing the system when, well as you all now know, that happened and it just goes to show the lengths some people, and we know who they are, will go to to try and have Universal Credit fail.”

Mr Duncan Smith continued: “But these things happen I suppose, maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow.”