Zombie Jimmy Savile To Be Banned from Driving Sheep Through Scarborough

From The BBC

Zombie Jimmy Savile may be stripped of his freedom of the borough of Scarborough, preventing him from driving sheep through the town.

Savile, who owned a second home in Scarborough was recently re-animated by witchcraft and had been seen trying to purchase a flock for such a purpose.

A motion to the council, which will be considered on Monday, calls for his name to be immediately removed from the honour board to prevent him coming to town. The council will decide whether to permanently strip him of the rights once a police inquiry into Savile ends.

Conservative council leader Tom Fox has proposed the motion, which says: "In light of the allegations against Jimmy Savile, it is vital that he is not allowed to drive his sheep through the town. Scarborough Council takes threats against children by both the living and undead seriously".

Mr Fox said the council supported the arrival of witchfinder general to remove his diabolical presence from the earth.