Worried medical sales rep: "Sir! Sir! I think our number might be up, some b-stard university has done some proper research and all the newspapers are reporting that nicotine patches are totally ineffective. That was one of our best-selling lines and we've got factories full of the damn' things!"
Sales Director: "Don't worry about it, you'll still hit your targets. We funded a bit of research of our own, and - hey presto - it turns out that nicotine patches help stave off dementia. That's one Hell of a potential market, isn't it?"
WMSR: "Are you sure they'll fall for it? According to those articles, those stinkers at Harvard monitored 787 for five years and our lot only monitored 67 people for six months. And our lot have got us by the short and curlies, haven't they? Just read what the guy said: 'This study provides strong justification for further research into the use of nicotine for people with early signs of memory loss. We do not know whether benefits persist over long periods of time and provide meaningful improvement', so we'll have to keep funding their research for ever and a day, won't we?"
SD: "Ah, don't worry about it. It's not your money is it? Anyways, I'm taking the stooge from the Department of Health to lunch today, I'm sure we'll be able to sort something out. Now keep this under your hat, but he let slip that they'd be interested in doing their own research into all the other stuff that nicotine patches might be good for, they might be able to help us out with the funding. He's pretty clued up, you know, we're even thinking of offering him a job as an R&D consultant in a couple of years' time."
Range
5 minutes ago
6 comments:
Why even go to that much effort? Just smear them as funded by "big tobacco" and be done with it.
R, perhaps, but even by the NHS's own admission, their 'stop smoking' services are a hugely expensive failure.
Who would've thought keeping you addicted to nicotine in another form wouldn't help you stop smoking?
/sarc
AC1
Fingers crossed, this may just open the floodgate. If so, then Arnott and cronies might be asked awkward questions. They must have known that NRT is virtually useless. In fact, they will have if they were doing their jobs properly. The public have been conned to the tune of £billions over the years. They should be made accountable for this fraud and abuse of trust.
What the hell else did people think it was going to do. If the patch takes away the craving by giving people the nicotine that they need, what do people think happens when you take away the patch?
Big Pharma and Big Tobacco are just two drugs barons having a turf war with our money.
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