A Home-Owner-Ist and a Young Person are the last to arrive at the buffet table, and there are only six sandwiches left. Out of politeness, the YP lets the Homey choose first. The Homey takes two sandwiches and throws three on the floor. YP takes the last sandwich, and asks the Homey why he threw three on the floor.
Homey: "Because I was here first and I can take as many as I like. I could have taken five if I wanted and left one for you, so what have you lost? In fact, you can count yourself lucky you got one, it's a free buffet, isn't it?"
YP: "But if you didn't want the other three, I could have had taken two - I'm feeling a bit peckish - and there'd be a couple left in case anybody turns up."
Homey: "His fault if he's late. Besides, I'm older and deserve a bit of respect, so that's why I get twice as many as you."
YP: "OK, you could have taken four and left me with two; that way you'd still have twice as many as me and I'd be full."
Homey: "Are you calling me greedy? I only need two. Why would I take four?"
YP: "All right, you could have taken two, I'd have taken two and then if anybody else came along, they could have had two as well."
Homey: "Are you some sort of Communist? Why should everybody get the same?"
YP can't be bothered replying, so he eats his only sandwich.
Homey eats the first of his and sensing triumph, stretches out his plate with the untouched one: "You know what, I feel full now and I've got a sandwich left over. But you still look hungry - so give me a quid and it's yours!"
Friday, 13 January 2012
Home-Owner-Ist at the buffet
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10 comments:
Perhaps you need to take a break from 'your cause', because this is just terribly naff.
Anon, why don't you go grab yourself a second sandwich and a holiday sandwich on the south coast, and maybe a retirement sandwich and a couple of investment sandwiches?
Don't listen to the naysayers, Mark. Fantastic stuff!.
Oh dear ... one might even conject that the barb hit home ... "this is just terribly naff" - quick translation "why do you even dare think pointing up the gimme gimme traits of people like myself is in any way a suitable subject for some gentle but nevertheless honest, urine-extraction? I am outraged !"
ps :
Re that "don't do that, you'll knack the diodes" in the blog heading, don't you mean "don't do that, you risk gender re-aligning the diodes" ...
CD, Anon, ta for back up. I must admit that the sketch was funnier when I drafted it in my head.
Anon, I wasn't sure whether to put an apostrophe after "knack" because it is short for "knacker".
Let them eat crisps.
But which brand?
You missed out the "I worked hard for those three sandwiches I threw on the floor" bit.
Rob, that wasn't what I was driving at. The Homey would have said something along the lines of "If I'd left those three on the plate, we would have just got asylum seekers flooding the country asking for free food and housing."
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