Thursday 17 November 2011

Homeys in the Staines Massive, aiii?

A town in south east England has voted by a majority of 2:1 to change its name in a bid to escape association with the infamous Sacha Baron Cohen character – Ali G.

Staines is well known as the character's hometown, a fact residents are keen to undo by naming their burgh Staines-Upon-Thames instead.

It is believed that the rebranding initiative will allow the town to escape such negative associations, bringing with it a host of economic benefits.

Economic benefits? Respect...

'The town was derided. Despite its situation along both banks of a beautiful stretch of the river, property prices are well below average.”

Nah man, dat is rank. You'll get more economic benefits from getting me mate Dave to sell you an 1/8th outside the John Nike Leisure Centre.

10 comments:

Bill Quango MP said...

I know it well. Property prices are not below average. Some bits are, but they are the crap bits on a bypass well away from the Thames.

3 bed bungalow is maybe £350-£400k.
That's a bit down for Middlesex but Staines has never attracted the biggest bucks because its completely surrounded by smaller, nicer, towns and villages along the same river.

dearieme said...

Wags will pronounce it Stains-upon-Thaims, in an Edward Heathish voice.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Daft, people will still call it Staines (a stupid name to start with) and people will still associate it with Ali G.

dearieme said...

Alright, change its name to Slough.

Old BE said...

Crikey, how sensitive are the denizens of Staines? Ali G was over ten years ago!

Bayard said...

Perhaps they ought to go Russian and change it to something completely different. There's be the small problem of the Post Office, the maps, the road signs and everyone who lives in or near there's memories, but hey, what's that compared to an extra few quid onto some already overpriced housing.

Mark Wadsworth said...

"Volgograd-upon-Thames" has a nice ring to it.

mombers said...

No prizes for guessing who will pay for the property value enhancing street sign changes. Clue - it's not the beneficiaries of the land value uplift. As usual.

Bayard said...

"Volgograd-upon-Thames" has a nice ring to it."

Yes, but you can bet there'd be some stubborn old-timers who'd insist on referring to it as "Stalingrad".

Anonymous said...

You may as well call it "Staines-upon-trousers" for all the good it will do.

Here's a clue: how do people refer to "Newcastle upon Tyne" or "Kingston upon Thames?"