Saturday, 9 July 2011

Never mind the cows...

... people are being attacked by trees in Swindon.*

A DOG-WALKER is worried for public safety after a second tree has come crashing down onto a path within two weeks... Mr Bennett is astonished the council has not acted to protect people from trees he thinks are suffering from dry rot.

The fallen tree comes just two weeks after Mr Bennett was featured in the Adver warning about the state of the trees following the fall of a large willow tree. He is amazed that no one was seriously injured or even killed, as the area is a popular spot with dog walkers and families...

A Swindon Council spokesman said: “We inspect trees that run alongside footpaths every three years and can find no record of problems with the willows in question...."


Every three years, huh? So he's not heard about the deadly tree virus spreading to other species?

* Spotted by Joseph Takagi

8 comments:

Lola said...

I didn't think you could get 'dry rot' in living trees...

Mark Wadsworth said...

L, me neither, but trees can start rotting nonetheless.

A K Haart said...

Mr Bennett should buy himself a chainsaw and a wood-burner. A less gloomy beard might help too.

Mark Wadsworth said...

AKH, exactly. Collecting firewood is good for the soul, although apparently it's good for wild life if you leave the dead trees in the forest to rot.

Anonymous said...

An outdoor smoking ban would solve the problem of trees keeling over spontaneously. They probably intake too much second-hand-smoke and that causes them to break in two. Ban outdoor smoking and that will probably solve the problem. Second-hand-smoke is the cause of everything wrong in the world today and outdoor smoking bans would solve the problem.

James Higham said...

You've touched on a vital point here. While the cows have been doing their darndest, it's been a distraction because the trees are secretly at it too, it seems.

Anonymous said...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8640133/Naked-man-gored-by-bull-in-Pamplona.html

Mark Wadsworth said...

Anon, yes of course. Think of the cheeeeldren.

JH, we'll end like Day Of The Triffids.

Anon 2: Pamplona is the most appalling dumbing down of cow attacks, it detracts from the efforts of all those individual cattle, farmers and ramblers across the world, who are the real heart and soul of it and have been keeping the sport alive at grass roots level without just doing it for the publicity or for commercial reasons (continued page 94).