Material for an interesting pub conversation

A Femen activist/self-publicist in Dresden had the nerve to appear topless in public with the slogan "Thanks Bomber Harris" daubed across her torso, but somehow lacked the nerve to show her own face while doing so (which sort of defeats the object, doesn't it?).



I don't see what's so offensive about "Thanks Bomber Harris", the people in Bomber Command were just doing what the official UK government had asked them to do, they helped defeat the Nazis, and by and large we should be grateful towards them.

Discuss.

"Jane Austen banknote portrait 'surgically enhanced', says biographer"

From the BBC:

A Jane Austen biographer has criticised the Bank of England for selecting a "sexed up" portrait of the author for its new £10 note.

Oxford University fellow Dr Paula Byrne said the 1870 image showed the author with Double-D breasts in a low cut dress, both absent in an earlier portrait composed by the novelist's sister Cassandra showing her as rather flat chested and dowdy.

But the Sun's current editor David Dinsmore, who was consulted by the Bank of England, felt it was a good choice. The Hampshire-born writer was chosen to replace Katie Price on the £10 note.

Holly Willoughby Leaves the Voice to Spend More Time with her Twins

via The Mirror

The right to anonymity: Epic fail

Traditionally, when newspapers wanted to keep somebody's identity halfway secret, they published a picture of the person in question but covered their eyes with a black stripe.

They don't appear to have read this memo over at The Daily Mail - not only did they include the woman's name in the headline but they put the black stripe over the wrong part of the picture:

"BBC apologises for The Voice final"

From The Evening Standard:

It was the final of the BBC's flagship talent show and all eyes were supposed to be on the contestants.

But it seems most viewers were disappointed with The Voice UK's finalists and what they enjoyed most was the presenter Holly Willoughby... and her revealing low-cut dress.

Today the BBC apologised after some viewers complained that Willoughby's racy black lace maxi dress was the only thing that made the programme half way worth watching.

More than 100 viewers contacted the corporation to voice their disapproval about Saturday's show, which was broadcast in the main before the watershed.

A BBC spokesman said:

"We're sorry if some viewers found Holly's dress to be the only thing which made the final bearable...

"We admit that it wouldn't have gone against audience expectations for a TV spectacle such as this to actually have decent performers doing original material."

But The Voice UK did get some support today. Holly's co-host on ITV's This Morning, Phillip Schofield, leapt to the show's defence.

Schofield tweeted: "139 complaints over Voice finalists. Let's hope those outraged on behalf of their kids don't take them to Spain or France this summer... God forbid they overhear the mindless crap you get on the radio over there before 9pm and be traumatised by it!"

Calm down dears, it's only a T-shirt

While I don't approve of politicians interfering with the press and I don't find the pictures on Page 3 of The Sun in any way objectionable, it strikes me that the politician(s) who told Caroline Lucas to "comply with Westminster's dress code" after she pulled this harmless little stunt are complete pompous arseholes. Similarly, if a female politician had gone topless to make a point for or against Page 3 girls, that would have been perfectly reasonable under the circumstances as well.

I mean, it's not like she started a war in Iraq or gave the bankers hundreds of billions of pounds of taxpayers' money or anything, FFS.

And BBC, take note, this was not a Commons debate, it was some sort of committee, surely?

Daily Mail on top form

From The Daily Mail:

... Yasmin Le Bon's love of the unusual left her red-faced on Monday night, as her black dress turned sheer under the photographers' bulbs when she was photographed at the VIP Chanel party in Mayfair...

Instead, Yasmin's breasts could clearly be seen through the thin fabric of the gown, with the mother-of-three appearing either unaware or unconcerned about the fashion faux pas.

So which is correct? "Red-faced" or "either unaware or unconcerned"?

Going by the accompanying pictures, I'd assume the latter.

Hidden word round

Eva Longoria on top form

Health Scare Stories Du Jour

1. From The Daily Mail:

Mothers who are struggling to get their babies to sleep should consider how much caffeine they are consuming, according to a breast feeding expert. Drinking coffee, tea and soft drinks and even eating chocolate increases the level of the stimulant in the blood. Babies can become restless, awake and irritable, when it is passed on through a mother's milk.

Dr Ruth Lawrence, editor of the journal Breastfeeding Medicine, said that babies have difficulties in breaking down and removing the drug from their bodies especially in their first two weeks of life. This can lead it to accumulate causing adverse symptoms...

The "first two weeks of life"? They'll get over it.

2. While tracking that one down, I stumbled across another coffee/breast related shocker from 2008:

Drinking more than three cups of coffee a day can apparently reduce the size of women's breasts. But it also reduces the risk of cancer, researchers say.

Swedish oncologist Dr Helena Jernstroem said a gene - which half of women have - could react and cause them to a drop a bra size. But she added: "Coffee-drinking women do not have to worry their breasts will shrink to nothing overnight. They will get smaller but the breasts aren't just going to disappear."

Hmm, small boobs or cancer? Not a tough choice, is it?

3. Finally, our GPs are so incompetent, they can't tell whether a patient is alive or dead:

Doctors were receiving money for more than 95,000 people who should have been removed from practice lists in England and Wales, investigators found. Some payments were made for patients who died more 40 years ago.

But many more ghosts may yet be uncovered; there are 52.5 million people in England but 55 million names registered with GPs. With doctors being paid £65 for each patient on their lists, it could mean as much as £162million a year is lost to the NHS...

However, the British Medical Association warned there were reports of ‘over-zealous list cleaners’ removing valid – often vulnerable – patients.

They calculated the £162 million as 2.5 million duplicate/non-existent patients x £65 a year. That's probably woefully understated, as there must be some people who aren't registered with a GP at all.

Interesting use of the word 'vulnerable'. If they come in for regular treatment, then clearly they are valid patients and are not being neglected; if they don't, then why don't the GPs try and track them down to find out why not?

BAAPS

I would like to congratulate The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons on their excellent choice of name and acronym.

However, I don't approve of the fact that they are calling for more regulation and a ban on advertising, as we know this is just a way in which existing players in an industry create barriers to entry, thus protecting their own profit margins at the expense of the consumer and of all those who are preventing from setting up in competition.

Just for completeness, here's an example of the advertising they'd like to ban, taken from here:

Hooters are yum

Bloody typical.

At a time when we need to start a serious debate about policing localised unrest (in the short term) and wider socio-economic issues (in the longer term) instead of just perpetrating some idealised version of female stereotypes, which image does the Daily Mail choose to illustrate its lead story?

Short Lists

In the comments, DBC suggested: "Which common British bird,featured in popular song, is known for its addiction to marijuana?" and Bayard suggested "Queens of England that were born commoners?"

Fair enough, you can be getting on with those, but, having spent a lot of time staring at maps and railway timetables while on holiday, my suggestion is "Towns in different countries with similar sounding names". To get the ball rolling, how about:

Friedrichshafen (Germany's most southern port) and Frederikshavn (Denmark's most northern port)

Epping (outer suburb of London) and Eppingen (outer suburb of Heilbronn in Germany)

Kempton (town where they do horse racing) and Kempten (town in Bavaria)

UPDATE: Bayard submits Burgau (Germany), Burgau (Austria) and Burgau (Portugal).

Joseph Takagi submit Bayreuth (pronounced Buy-roit) and Beirut.

I spotted another corker this afternoon while explaining to my sisters where we'd been on holiday: Hereford, England and Herford, Germany.
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I'm not aware that there are any other towns named in honour of women's breasts, but if you know of one, please leave a comment!

UPDATE: Wolfers submits Brest (excellent) and Bristol, but that doesn't count because Bristol City is rhyming slang and the town is not called after its own football team.

Anon submits Nork.

Expat submits Titiwangsa.

We can harvest these from Google Maps, actually. There's Boobery, United Kingdom and Bubry, France, which would thus qualify for the first short list as well. See also Titisee, Germany, Tytsjerk, Netherlands, Mammari, Cyprus.

Jennifer Lopez' nip slip on Wetten Dass

Does The Remittance Man ghost write for The Daily Mail?

RM hasn't updated his 'blog since last May, but if you need a low-dosage fix of the same stuff, you can rely on The Daily Mail.

Exhibit One

Exhibit Two

Exhibit Three

Exhibit Four

Exhibit Five

Exhibit Six

Fun Online Polls: Flat-chested Celebrities & National Employment Savings Trust

Thanks to everybody who took part in last week's Fun Online Poll.

Who is your favourite flat-chested celebrity?

Keira Knightley 32%
Natalie Portman 28%
Sienna Miller 10%
Kate Lawlor 7%
Zhang Zhi 7%
Paris Hilton 4%
Fearne Cotton 3%
Paula Radcliffe 3%
Mena Suvari 3%
Kate Hudson 2%
Shell Jubin 0%

Well done Keira!
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The government's new brain-dead scheme to 'encourage pension saving' is to automatically enrol every employee into the scheme, and there'll be extra forms and hassle if you want to opt out. I can tell you right now that I'll be opting out. As I've said before, the only people I trust less than the government are insurance companies.

From the NEST website:

It is proposed that NEST will initially have a combination charge made up of an annual management charge (AMC) of 0.3 per cent* and a small contribution charge of around 2 per cent.

If you compound that over a few decades, you'll find it will eat away a large chunk of what you think you've saved

Don't forget - if you're a basic rate taxpayer, you can effectively invest in shares income tax free, even outside your ISA allowance, because there's no income tax on the dividends (these are after corporation tax, of course, but so are dividends received by a pension fund) and it's not too difficult to ensure that you never exceed the capital gains annual exemption of about £10,000.

And if you're a higher rate taxpayer, the best thing you can do is pay off your mortgage as quick as possible. Either way, the additional flexibility of having instant access to your money usually outweighs the net value of the tax breaks (which you are paying for via the income tax and NI on the rest of your earnings).

So that's this week's Fun Online Poll: "Will you opt out of the National Employment Savings Trust?"

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.
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* It's also instructive to compare that 0.3% annual charge with the costs of administering the State Pension (see article in Daily Mail), which is stated as £5.40 per pensioner per year, or about 0.13% of the average amount paid out - which by definition includes the costs of maintaining records throughout your working life and paying it out again after you retire.

That article also tells us that the average annual cost of paying out the means-tested and thoroughly objectionable Pensions Credit is £54 per pensioner per year, or about 1.8% of the amount paid out. By definition, the costs of adminstering a Citizen's Pension would only be half as much as the cost of administering the State Pension, i.e. next to nothing (£30 million a year or something).

Fun Online Polls: Price Comparison Websites & Flat Chested Celebrities

Thanks to everybody who took part in last week's Fun Online Poll, results as follows:

Which is your favourite financial price comparison website?

Money Supermarket - 31%
Confused - 20%
U Switch - 14%
Compare The Market - 11%
Go Compare - 0%
Other, please specify - 23%

Suggestions for 'Other' included Google shopping, bookbrain and DVD Price Check.

I'm mildly relieved to see those results. The only two I've ever used for real are Money Supermarket (for car insurance) and U Switch (for changing gas and electric, about ten years ago) and I was perfectly happy with the outcome.
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Thanks to everybody who nominated somebody for this week's Fun Online Poll: "Who is your favourite flat chested celebrity?"

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

Flat-chested celebrities: your nominations please.

It's time to start a new Fun Online Poll. I was thinking of doing the next one on who our favourite flat chested celebrity is.

Those that spring to mind are Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman (who are probably the same person) and Paris Hilton, i.e. those who are hot precisely because of, rather than despite, their all round flat-chestedness. Kate McCann would qualify but her claim to fame is murky, to say the least, and 'Kate Moss ten years ago' or 'Grace Jones twenty years ago' don't count.

I'll wait for a few nominations to roll in and then set it up.

Bizarre Cow/Zebra Attack

From The Telegraph:

A woman is recovering in hospital after having her thumb and part of one of her breasts chewed off when she was attacked by her pet zebra, according to reports...

Ms Mhidza told the New Zimbabwe website that her family had kept the zebra as a pet for a decade after taking it in as an orphaned foal and deciding to keep it alongside their herd of cattle. The creature had always been calm until it turned on its owner after she stepped in to stop it attacking a cow.

"We were shocked last week when the zebra bit one of the cows in the hind quarters as they were grazing," she said. "The cow bled profusely and later died. On Sunday last week, it attacked another cow. Instinctively, I threw a brick at it."

The zebra then abandoned the cow and charged at Ms Mhidza. Worried neighbours managed to scare the animal away after the incident. Wildlife officials later arrived at the scene and destroyed it.

Zimbabwe Parks and Wildlife Management spokeswoman Caroline Washaya-Moyo told New Zimbabwe it was not sensible to try to domesticate a wild animal.

Q - what's black and white and eats like a horse?
A - a zebra.

Kate Winslett's Eyebrow(s)

Kate Winslett, our English Rose who's never afraid to get them out for the lads cameras, is a trailing third in this week's Fun Online Poll, so just to even up the scores a bit, here's a picture of her in 'sharp eyebrow' mode. I must confess that on closer inspection, her right hand eyebrow is a tad sharper than the left hand one, but hey...