“I’m not doing it because I have to, but if I get a chance, I find it immensely therapeutic.”

From The Evening Standard:

Television presenter Kirstie Allsopp has said she secretly enjoys mundane tasks such as washing, ironing and churning out baseless arguments against property taxes as she revealed she finds it “therapeutic”.

Location, Location, Location star Allsopp, 42, said: “I’m absolutely convinced that those repetitive tasks that one does every day, organising and regularising one’s home and constantly mentioning one's elderly parents who are sitting on a £2 million unearned windfall gain which one hopes to inherit, are enormously therapeutic.

“I know it is for me, and I have many, many working mum friends who feel the same. To know that their child is going to school with clean hair, clean teeth, clean uniforms and that their house is going up in value is what keeps her sane.”

Mother-of-two Allsopp, who also has two stepchildren with her partner, property developer Ben Andersen, said: “I’m not spouting economically illiterate scare stories because I have to, but if I get a chance, I find it immensely therapeutic.”

She told the Western Daily Press she tried to mention the asset-rich, cash-poor at least twice a week to try to stay in touch with other Home-Owner-Ists whose children attend the same school as hers.

"Two million quid for doing absolutely nothing. And all that'll be mine. Just think about that."

Kirstie Says

Try substituting "housing" for "Olympic merchandise":

Killer Arguments Against LVT, Not (134)

I must admit, I blather on about the rental value of land being created by 'society' or 'the community'; the notion that if the government spends taxpayers' money wisely, it channels the gains in the direction of landowners; and the assumption that the value of your particular plot of land is largely influenced by what the occupants of surrounding plots do and not what you do, etc, but as a fair minded sort of chap, let's have a look at what the hard core Home-Owner-Ists have to say about it...

According to Channel 4 - who broadcast a lot of Kirstie Allsop's programmes, and she should know - if you want your 'investment to show capital growth', here is what you should look for when deciding where to buy:

1: What's The Area Like?
If you're worried about whether or not you'll feel at home with your new neighbours, fear not. Discovering everything, from your neighbours' incomes to what paper they read, is a cinch with a neighbourhood profile from www.upmystreet.com. Similar concerns about crime? This site will also provide the latest statistics.

2: High Street Hints
It's true that newly opened coffee shops, delicatessens and especially estate agents suggest an upward shift in an area. Unfortunately, shops tend to follow shoppers, so you may have missed your chance to get in early and snap up a bargain. However, it's still an encouraging sign that the times (and area) are changing.

3: Smartening Up
Many post-war town centres have become concrete wastelands, but planners are realising that braving the urban jungle is not what we want. Some quick enquiries at the local council may reveal if there are plans afoot to redevelop a town centre, which will make the area a more pleasant place to be.

4: Architectural Delights
Sought-after building styles - Victorian terraces or well-proportioned 1930s semis, for example - can push one area to the fore if surrounding neighbourhoods are less architecturally strong.

5: Mapping It Out
You're not the only refugee from gorgeous but unaffordable areas. Take solace in the 'ripple effect' - places on the boundaries of good areas often become desirable, so the best advice is to get out the map and look for likely candidates around your dream location.

6: Look To The Future
Thinking ahead is a must when buying, so don't just consider what you want from your house now - factor in what future buyers might want, too. Even if you don't have kids, your future buyers might, so try to pick an area with good schools. And it doesn't matter if you're a gym-dodger - potential purchasers may want one locally. No car? No matter - inadequate parking in an area will discourage car owners, so remember to bear this in mind too.

7: Home Improvements
Look out for any new developments and skips outside private homes, as they're signs of new blood moving in. Large disused buildings are also prime candidates for refurbishing into flats for professionals.

8: What Are Local Schools Like?
Check performance tables at the Department for Education and Skills and Ofsted inspection reports to see how schools are performing - marked improvements are a good sign. Also, see if there are universities in the area, giving you the option of future rental income, either for the whole property or just a room.

9: Quiet Life Or Night Spot?
An area that is peaceful during the day can turn into a swinging hotspot by night, so it's always a good idea to visit at different times, both during the day and week. Gangs of unsupervised kids hanging around are not a good sign of an area on the up.

10: Are Transport Links Decent?
New transport links signal investment, so investigate planned improvements on roads with the Highways Agency. To find out about existing travel links, contact National Rail Enquiries for trains, or Travel Line for buses.

Maybe I've missed something, but isn't that exactly what I've been saying all along?

It's just that I think this through to one logical conclusion - that it is better to tax community-created land values than to tax incomes; and the Homeys and Faux Libs draw the opposite conclusion - that skimming off the profits resulting from the efforts of others is a good way of making money. I don't think there is any disagreement on the actual facts, is there?

Parody Singularity (8)

Kirstie Allsopp in Saturday's Times:

If I could do one thing this year it would be to persuade people that second-hand and home-made presents are not in any way second-rate. I have no concept that there is anything shameful about them. This may be because I was brought up seeing the worth in second-hand pieces because my father worked for Christie’s...

It gets even better:

My other half, Ben, and I live in a huge house in East Devon that we couldn’t possibly afford to furnish unless we used recycled goods...

The true face of Home-Owner-Ism

The Lass (aged nearly seven) drew her own version of Kirstie Allsopp and asked me to put it on my 'blog. What I like is the way she seems to be morphing into The Goblin King:

Repossession, Repossession, Repossession

Parody Singularity (4)

From The Metro:

Kirstie Allsopp set to join House of Lords

She's advised countless people on the importance of location and now Kirstie Allsopp's possible new home couldn't be much grander... the House of Lords. The Channel 4 property guru is being lined up as one of dozens of new peers should David Cameron win next year's general election. According to leaked documents, the Conservative leader is looking to 'sprinkle stardust on the red benches'.

The 36-year-old Location, Location, Location star - daughter of Charles Henry, 6th Baron Hindlip - could be joined by Tim Berners-Lee, founder of the internet, and Carphone Warehouse co-founder David Ross. Allsopp is one of 20 high-profile figures 'in advanced discussions' about getting the honours from the Conservatives. Some may well become ministers to help a future Conservative government - Allsopp is currently a 'housing adviser'. She is also a close friend of the Camerons, and mixes in the same social circles, insiders say.

Mr Cameron has in the past been highly critical of Labour's promotion of celebrities and business figures to its 'government of all talents' (1). The Tory list was drawn up by PR firm Mandate after speaking to more than 50 MPs at their recent party conference. 'As they prepare for a difficult first year in power, the Conservatives are planning to use Lords appointments to sprinkle some star dust on their front bench,' said Fiona Mason, Mandate's managing director of political affairs. 'David Cameron is keen to bring to the fore a range of policy and technical experts who have stronger knowledge of the wider world than many of his MPs.' She said he wanted at least 20 high-profile new peers...

A spokesman for the Conservatives described the list as 'pure speculation'.

(1) Ahem.

Car crash TV

Channel 4 at 8 o'clock today: The Ascent of Money "In a new and very timely landmark series, historian Professor Niall Ferguson tackles the story of money and the rise of global finance. Ferguson argues that behind every great historical phenomenon - empires and republics, wars and revolutions - there lies a financial secret."

In which said Professor will probably completely miss the point and blame it all on 'banks', whereas the more fundamental truth is that politicians welcomed the property price bubble because it led to an illusion of ever rising wealth. And you can't have a property price bubble without a credit bubble, so certain bonus-hungry employees at banks just made hay while the sun shone.

Followed immediately by Location, Location, Location: A Survival Guide "With the UK heading towards a recession, the property market looks more treacherous than ever before. So, in this 90-minute special, Kirstie and Phil give their expert advice on how to survive the credit crunch, offering comprehensive recommendations to help home owners, buyers and sellers from all over the country make the right moves in this unsettled market."

A prime opportunity for a more specialised version of Bullshit Bingo, methinks. I tip 'shortage of housing'; 'pent up demand'; 'long term investment'; 'it's a home not an investment'; 'freeing up credit markets'; 'fundamentals'; 'buying opportunity'; 'the government should ...' and 'Stamp Duty cuts for first-time buyers'.

Northern Rock and Stamp Duty Land Tax

Damn. I spend a day out enjoying the North Devon drizzle, and it all kicks off behind my back.

As I have said often enough, The Goblin King's "sixty three consecutive quarters of economic growth" (the first eighteen were under the previous Tory gummint, of course) were based on an illusion of wealth caused by spiralling house prices* and artifically low interest rates**.

All bubbles burst eventually, and once they do, there is nothing you can (or should) do to stop it. I listed Nulab's first four desperate, and futile, attempts here. Throws five and six were ... on the same day ... £3 billion more for Northern Rock and they're seriously considering nicking the Tories' f***ing stupid plan to axe Stamp Duty Land Tax for first time buyers (which they in turn took from that economics genius Krusty Allsopp, 'nuff said), which will cost future taxpayers another few £ billion (the 'tax cut' won't be mirrorred by a much welcomed spending cut, it'll just be added to gummint borrowings, in other words, today's tax cut is a future tax hike)***.

To recap: house prices are falling at 1% to 2% a month (total housing stock falling in value at about £10 billion per week), but turnover is still shrinking rapidly, so who in his (or her) right mind seriously believes that a further 1% reduction in price will bring buyers flooding back to the market?****

At least Normant Lamont had the decency to throw in the towel after losing £2 billion in one day.

The delicious irony is, these bastard MPs are all second-home owners, so they are panicking on a purely personal level, as well as on a political level.

* The Goblin King: "I think the important thing is that over the last 10 years people in the South have seen their living standard rise substantially. They've seen their net wealth rise even faster than their incomes."

** Former Bank of England Governor Eddie George: "We knew that we were having to stimulate consumer spending. We knew we had pushed it up to levels which couldn't possibly be sustained into the medium and long term."

*** I'm not disputing that Stamp Duty Land Tax is, taken in isolation, a totally evil wealth/property tax, but my view is that it should be rolled into Land Value Tax rather than being scrapped, that's a political thing.

**** There's a fine article in The Times pointing out that the Tories tried the same wheeze in 1991 and it achieved nothing, via enuii at HPC.